Questions for a date night

So I'm a clean freak, and I love to organize, too. There is probably a little too much joy to be found when I can open a cabinet and find something to go through. I found a stack of magazine articles that I've had for awhile, and decided that since it had been a few years since reading them, I'd go through them, throw away some, and actually put some to use. Recipes, child raising tips, etc. I had pulled one from a marriage magazine that was written by Gary and Barb Rosberg. Great speakers/authors - we went to a marriage conference early on that they were at. Anyway, they give a series of progressively challenging questions to ask your spouse. So, I thought I'd pass a few on.

Level One
Tell me about the best vacation you have ever had.
When do you feel most glad that you married me?
What's the best compliment I could give you?
What one question do you want God to answer?
What really gets on your nerves?

Level Two
Do you feel that I spend enough of my free time with you? What things cut into our time together?
What do you enjoy most about your life? What would you like to change?
Describe two of your favorite memories of things we've done together.
Do you think you spend most of your time doing what you're well suited to do? If not, what needs to change? What would you most enjoy doing on a daily basis?
What helps you grow closer to Christ? What interferes with that process?
How well did your parents communicate?
Do I say "I love you" enough?

Level Three
Describe some dream accomplishments for yourself at ages 40, 60, 80.
Do you eer feel that I'm critical of you? How can I avoid that?
What one thing that I do for you makes you feel truly loved?
What are you learning in your times alone with God?
What do you think it means to be "called" by God to do something? Have you ever felt that calling?
At what times do you feel overwhelmed? What can I do to help?
Do I ever give you the silent treatment?
When we have an argument, does it seem as though I'm really listening to what you say? Or am I more interested in what I have to say?
Do you ever sense that I put conditions on my love for you? If so, what are the conditions you feel I place on you?

Level Four
Describe three ways we can enjoy each other more.
In what ways do you look forward to growing old together?
How can I be a better friend to you?
When you try something and fail,how should I respond?
What give you the motivation to get up in the morning?
In what areas of your life do you feel most insecure? What can I do to encourage you?
What can I do to help you bring out your natural talents and abilities?
Are you satisfied with the time we spend together reading the Bible and praying? What can we do together to meet each other's needs in this area?
Do you ever have doubts about God's character? About the Bible? How do those doubts affect you?
How are we doing in terms of resolving our conflicts? What can we do better?
What do you think "marital intimacy" means?
In what three ways can I be a better listener?
When are times when you especially need my love?
Is there any emotional baggage we've brought into this marriage that needs to be unpacked? Would that require professional help, or can we handle it ourselves? In what ways can I help in this process?

Level Five
What do you think prevents couples from becoming (or staying) best friends?
Do you trust me? If not, why not? What can I do to help you trust me more?
How can we affair-proof our marriage?
Is there anything about life in general or our current circumstances that discourages or disappoints you? What can I do to help turn that around?
What are some ways I can help you reach your full potential?
In what ways am I encouraging you in your spiritual walk with God? What else could I do?
How can we improve our prayer life together? Individually?
Do you think we're honoring God in the way we spend, give, and save our money? How could we do better?
What things can we do to help our children grow in their faith?
Do you ever feel I'm more "at one" with my job, the kids, or a hobby than I am with you? What makes you feel this way? How can I be more "at one" with you?
Have I ever broken your heart? If so, when? How could I have handled that situation differently? What can I do to heal that situation?

All the questions were from their book "40 Unforgettable Dates with Your Mate"

If you don't have a few hours to spend w/your hubby to work through all those questions, we have three questions that were given to us from another great couple and amazing example of marriage - Paul and Virginia Friesen. Each year, they go through these questions as a "check up" with each other. Scott and I spent a weekend before Rachel was born at a bed and breakfast, and answered them over dinner. It was a real, refreshing, honest conversation..... here's the questions...

1. Looking back over the past year, what have been our strengths? What do we feel has contributed positive growth to our marriage?

2. What areas have been neglected? Do we feel we're in a better place relationally now than we were a year ago? Not as good? Why or why not?

3. Looking ahead, what goals do we want to set which will increase the vitality and oneness of our marriage?

I'm the Mom,.......

........so I'm always right. Or, in this case, a little bit right. Noah is going to preschool for one more year - we decided to wait until he turns 6 next summer to start kindergarten. His class this year is probably 70/30 girls/boys, the teachers are more structured than last year, he goes three days in a row as opposed to two, and he doesn't have a buddy that he beelines for yet. So, all that to say, he's not a huge fan of preschool. Doesn't mind it, but isn't whoo-hoo excited about going every day. We've talked a few times about getting used to new things, introducing himself to a new person every day, etc, etc. Standard Mom advice.

After I picked him up today, he and I were playing on the floor and he started talking about his friend "Andrew" that he has started playing with. He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "I guess you were a little bit right about preschool. I kind of like it now."

What a glowing endorsement. I'm hoping that it only gets better as the years go on. It has to, right? He WILL think I'm amazing and wonderful when he's a teenager........

Noah's thoughts/thoughtfulness

Our sweet 5 year old.

We did some singing before bed tonight, starting with a few that he knew from Sunday school, and ending with Jesus Loves Me. As we sang, "Jesus loves me, this I know" he interjected with a contended sigh, "This is the best song ever."

As I scratched his back (a nightly ritual since he's been about 3 years old- sorry to whoever his future wife is :)), I got up to leave, and he asked for the first time in 2 years, "Do you want me to scratch YOUR back, Mom?"

Summer pictures

Here's some recent pictures of the kids this summer......

I do

Nope, Scott and I aren't renewing our vows. "I do" is the punch line to this next story...

We were at our friends' house for dinner tonight, and dessert was the always popular (and cheap and easy to make) crowd pleaser - brownies.

The kids are not physically able to have just one brownie, of course. That would go against everything about childhood. Two of them (Noah and a friends' kid) made their way into the kitchen to ask for another one, and walked back outside.

Then came Tyler. He came in, held out his napkin, and said, "I do." I think in his head, he knew that we would probably ask him, "Would you like another brownie?" So, rather than beat around the bush, he decided to answer the question before we had a chance to ask it.

It was so cute, and if I'm really a superstar mom, it might make his baby book.

Happy Birthday to 2 out of 3!!!

Rachel turned one on the 25th. Noah turned 5 on the 30th. Let's just say there's going to be lots of double birthday party/cake eating sessions in the years to come. :) Rachel loved her cake (surprise) and Noah has been the baseball boy this summer, hence his cake.

Our visit to the Playboy Mansion

Okay, now that your attention has been lassoed.... :) We went to Lake Geneva last weekend for the summer regional conference that Scott's employer, Edward Jones, has every year. It's at a different place every summer (we're pulling for a return to a great waterpark that we went to two years ago), and this summer it was at the Grand Geneva hotel, which, used to be the old Playboy mansion. Lovely. Thankfully, I was able to put that thought out of my mind to minimize the creepiness I felt just being there.

We had a fun couple days with the kids, and then my parents came to get them so Scott and I could have the day/evening to ourselves. My mom and dad even kept the kids overnight! We got dressed up for the banquet/awards dinner on Saturday night, and I had someone take what's probably the first picture of just Scott and I in a few years. :) The kids loved the pool - even Tyler, who ended up in the floatie-thing I bought for Rachel. She was happy just pushing the chairs and side tables around the deck. We also took a dinner cruise... here's the pics.

Tyler's language

So, today we got out the pool. Tyler said, "Wet's get our babin' suits on, Mom!" A bug flew near to him and he said, "Dere's too many biskeetos out here."

Who's your favorite?

So Scott and I commit the cardinal sin of parenting once in awhile.... we ask the kids who their favorite is. Yep, that's right, we try to get them on our respective sides. :) It's always in fun, and we usually tickle them to death if they pick the opposite parent.

As we were putting them to bed the other night, Noah chose Scott, and Tyler (2 1/2)was a die-hard Mommy's boy. He looked me straight in the eyes and said,

"You're my best, Mommy."

We're still alive!!!

Thanks, Bekah, for the reminder that my blog has been neglected for about 2 years now. :) Somehow, even though our kids aren't involved in sports, Awana, kids clubs, or even school, we're busy. What will life be like in 5 years?????

Last weekend, we had Noah's birthday party. He has never had a party with friends before, so we decided that this was the year to do it. We thought, hey, wouldn't it be fun to invite his whole preschool class? So, after passing out 35+ invitations, we realized that we were in for it. :) We had 22 kids come - we borrowed some bounce houses from some generous friends and neighbors, another neighbor brought over bean bag games and ring tosses, etc, and we had ourselves a mini carnival in the backyard. Thankfully, the weather was nice - no rain, sleet, or snow. The kids had a great time, and Noah enjoyed being the center of attention for the morning.

I promise it won't be 2 more years until I blog again...

Our sweet boy - is it possible he's really almost 5 years old???

Scott playing Duck, Duck, Goose with the kids. He was amazing as the game master. Seriously, after 8 years of marriage, I thought I knew all the reasons why I loved him. He was so good with the kids - doing all kinds of crazy games, running around the house with them.... There were two moms that stayed with their kids at the party. As they were watching Scott, one of them asked me, "Is he for hire for other birthday parties?" I was very proud. :)

Opening presents. It was hilarious to watch them all clamor for Noah to open theirs first. He took it all in stride, though, and didn't get overwhelmed! Fortunately, a few presents were "Target take-back worthy." For any of you that know me, you know that I have no qualms about returning gifts.....

Ready for cake and ice cream. A memorable moment of the morning was when at least 5 kids came up to me and said, "I don't like this ice cream." I had to hold myself back from saying, "well, more for me then!" :)

Red light, green light.

The only downfall to an outside party - a windy day that didn't give the candles a fighting chance.

So after the party, Noah says in his sweetest voice, "Mom, since it's a special day, can I skip a nap?" We said sure, but you have to have a rest on the couch. Not even 2 minutes later, we found him like this.

Our little/big man. We love him so much.

Doesn't get any cuter than this...

Musing on chocolate...

I can eat at least 10 Oreos in a sitting. For breakfast. 3 candy bars at once? No problem. So, the kids have had ample exposure to the greatest food ever invented. Tyler has a sweet tooth that will match mine one day. As he was eating some chocolate chips this morning (around 9 a.m.) :), he said, "Chocolate makes me feel better." He put into words what I've known my whole life.

We can finally go outside!

Yay! It's spring in Wisconsin! We've finally officially put away the snow pants, and are happily playing outside. Here's a few shots of the kids from the past week. We went to the park, and the kids had a blast.

Life with Tyler

We thought we had this parenting thing all figured out. Our first, Noah, was the kid that knew the rules before someone told them to him. Our second, Tyler, well, he's a little more normal than that. As my dad said when he was on the way, "You're going to have to throw out the book you used for Noah because each kid is different." Yeah, right, Dad. Oh wait, he IS right. :) Here's two stories from the past week that give you a little picture into life with our sweet, crazy, funny boy Tyler.

1.) Tyler and Rachel (2 1/2 and 9 months) are in the living room together. I'm in the kitchen. I hear laughter from both of them. As I'm in the middle of washing dishes, I decide to finish them up and then go see what all the fun is about. So, 2 minutes later, as they're still laughing, I go in the living room to find Rachel covered in Puffs. (For those of you w/out kids, Puffs are nasty little bite sized cereal-looking things that REEK of the zinc that they are fortified with. As my brother says, "If you can smell the vitamins, you shouldn't be eating it.") Anyway, Tyler has taken a whole bottle of them and poured them over her head. He is taking handfuls of them and throwing them at her, chuckling his delightful little belly laugh as he does it. Rachel, who by the way is the BIGGEST of all three kids, (I'm so proud), is LOVING every minute of it. Not only is she getting undivided attention, but she has snacks all around her. Tyler got a time out, but I had to hide my smile and laughter from him.

2.) Now, you'd think that I'd learn that a 2 1/2 year old laughing loudly would be a clue that something's going on that shouldn't be happening. Well, my brain is slowly expanding back to it's pre-pregnancy size, so there are still a few connections that have yet to meet again. So, Tyler and Rachel are alone again in the living room and I hear laughter. Again. I decide to wait only one minute this time. Tyler is the first one I see. He has a marker in his hand. Rachel, who I had stripped down to her birthday suit a few minutes prior because of a diaper blow out, is sitting naked in the middle of the floor, with some decorative marker strokes on her face, cheek, arms, and belly. My favorite is the one near her eye, which, in the medium shade of pink, makes her look like she's about to join an 80's punk band. Again, she is laughing, because 'hey, the other person is laughing, and again, I'm getting attention!' :) Thankfully it wasn't a Sharpie. Thankfully it wasn't a black marker.

Ahhhh, life with a two year old. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I apologize that there aren't pictures to accompany these stories. I didn't get the camera out quick enough, and I didn't want to have too many repeat episodes if I took the camera out. :)

Always carry your camera in your car....

Because you never know when you're going to pass by a digger that says your kid's name on it! :)

Prayer before dinner

Noah's prayer at dinner last night:
Dear Jesus,

Thank you for this day. Thank you for the food, for our beds, and toys, and our house.

Please help people not to shoot or smoke.

Dear Jesus, Amen.

Leftovers

I bought the Family Life's Resurrection Eggs to use this year. As we were opening them, we came across the cup from Passover. Noah took it out of the egg and said, "This is from when Jesus and the disciples had leftovers."

Vacation!

We went to Captiva Island, Florida for vacation this past week. Scott earned a trip through his job, and we took the kids for their first "real" vacation. Had a great time. The boys loved the sand and could have dug to China had they stuck with the same hole all week. (We stopped at a Wal-Mart on the way in to the resort and I bought a bunch of sand toys. Best 10 bucks spent on plastic thus far in my motherhood! :) ) Here's some pics...

All three kids with hats! The weather was beautiful - in the 70's and mostly sunny. It was so nice NOT to see snow for a few days.

Sweet girl on the beach. She wasn't thrilled with the sand, but at the end of the week, gave it a taste by licking one finger at a time.

Tyler really got into the sand - we definitely found it in every possible place on his body...

Cute boys at the pool. Noah had a blast swimming with his arm floaties. Another 2 bucks well spent on plastic. :)

Dig, dig, dig. We built sandcastles, moats, tunnels, towers... it was also a great shelling beach. Noah was more interested in the quantity of shells than the quality at first. I seriously thought we were going to have to buy another suitcase to bring home all the shells he found!

We took a boat ride - actually, a "Dolphin Cruise." 98% of the cruises see dolphins that swim up to the boat, play in the wake, etc. We were on the 2% that didn't. Bummer. The boat ride lost it's novelty for the boys within 15 minutes. Rachel was mad because it was windy and she was tired.

Finally, the boys gave up and took a nap. It was a pretty expensive nap. :)

"Hey," you say, "there's a dolphin!" We had an AWESOME room at the resort - maybe they felt bad for us because we had the most kids 4 years old and under, but whatever the reason, we were very thankful. It was right on the corner by the entrance to the marina. So, besides all the boats going in and out, which the boys loved, we saw dolphins and manatees right outside our balcony!

The sunrise out our window the day we left.

All ready for the pool! Check out her fangs on top. She loves to wrinkle up her nose - when she does, we get a great view of our little Dracula.

There was a trolley that ran around the resort (it was HUGE.) Tyler will tell you that the "trahwee" was his favorite part of vacation. Usually, he wanted his own bench to ride on. But, for some reason, he allowed Noah to come and sit with him. I love Noah's arm around Tyler, and I promise, I didn't tell him to put it there! :)

Strike a pose....

This is Rachel's favorite way to lounge. Looks like she's posing for a photo shoot. She's at a full fledged crawl now, and even though it's the third time around, it still amazes me that less than 8 months ago she was a helpless little blob that couldn't do anything for herself. Sweet girl.

Noah, the theologian

Noah is 4 1/2 and is at such a fun age for questions and answers. I love seeing his mind and heart grab hold of concepts that I hope stick with him for the rest of his life. We were talking yesterday about Jesus, and how He protects us, and loves us. I asked Noah what else he knew about Jesus. He said, "He loves us so much and he will never do mean things to our hearts. He washes all our germs away." One for the baby book. :)

Is it possible?

Is it possible that we have kids this old? Scott and I ask each other this question once in awhile. Yes, I know they're all under the age of 5, but it still amazes me that we've kept them alive this long and they seem to be thriving. :)

Noah has been really interested in reading lately, and has come up to me with statements like, "C-A-T spells cat, right, Mom?" "C-H makes a chuh sound, right, Mom?" It's pretty amazing. I know that being 4 1/2, he's doing exactly what other 4 1/2 year olds are doing, but somehow when someone you've known from infancy starts doing more and more independently, it's a miracle.

We're so proud of him, and I delight to see his face light up when I tell him that. Don't know how we lived life without our little buddy.

Over the river and through the ice storm, to Great Grandparents' house we go...

So last weekend, we drove to Nebraska for Scott's grandparents' 65th wedding anniversary celebration. Now, Wisconsin to Nebraska is about a 12 hour drive. Long, right? Oh no, not for the Howards. We think anything less than the 16 hours it takes us to get to Texas is a breeze. We do worry about the kids' IQ's, though, as we can almost visibly see them drop as they watch DVD after DVD. But, they seem okay now, except for a few twitches here and there, which our doctor said would go away after a few years. :)

Anyway, we had a WONDERFUL time seeing Scott's grandparents, cousins and kids... it was a quick trip, but totally worth it. We left early early early on Sunday morning to get back, because we heard there was a storm that was supposed to go through Iowa and Illinois... basically, the exact route that we were going to take to get back home. We somehow thought that if we left early enough, the snow/ice that was supposed to fall for the whole day would hold off for us. (Minor problem, the weather doesn't revolve around the Howards....) We got about halfway and decided that after seeing a few dozen cars in the ditch later, we should probably stop. Some friends of Scott's from college live in Iowa and were gracious enough to take us in for the afternoon/night. We finally made it home, and we think there were at least 200+ cars in the ditch or median. We lost count. Very grateful that we stopped, and will probably take weather.com a little more seriously next time. :)

Three kids in a hotel bed!

Rachel didn't smile until she was OUT of the hotel pool. Unfortunately, her hands and arms are covering up her leg/thigh rolls. How long can you call a little girl chubby for? 4, 5 years? :)

Scott and the boys. We hadn't taken them swimming in a long time, so we weren't sure how the cautiousness would play out... Noah loved it, and paddled around happily with the water wings on his arms. Tyler wasn't so sure, and I heard, "Daddy hode me" about a dozen times from the water.

Rachel was very entertained by the mirror at the hotel.

Great Grandpa and Grandma Howard.

We all gathered in a clubhouse/party room for the celebration dinner. Lawrence Welk was on, which, if I had time, would get a blog all of it's own. :) Grandpa and Grandma Howard loved one of the songs, and decided to dance to it, much to the enjoyment of everyone else. I can't remember a time when I've seen more cameras and video cameras being whipped out and used. It was a sweet moment, and fun for us all to see them still dancing after 65 years!

A view from the middle row of the Sienna. This was the HIGHWAY - right before we decided that maybe we should stop and not drive anymore.

I could have taken hundreds of pictures like this. It was like a scene out of a movie. So thankful we weren't one of them!

What DO the Howards do all day when it's snowing and cold outside?

So, I bet most of you are wondering, just what DO you do with the kids for the 11 months out of the year when it's snowing and sub-zero weather? Glad you asked. Here at the Howard household, we have a MYRIAD of things to keep us busy. One of the boys' favorite games is simply "Jump off the stairs until someone gets hurt." Basically, they take turns (Tyler usually goes first) jumping off the highest number of stairs that they are allowed. For Tyler, it's two stairs; Noah, it's three. (I vetoed the idea of letting them jump off the number of stairs that corresponds to their age...) So, Tyler jumps off his two stairs, followed by Noah, who jumps very close (but thankfully not ON) Tyler. They wrestle around for a second, and then do it again. The fact that we haven't had a broken bone or even gotten close to needing stitches is a miracle. Here are some action shots ...

No, Tyler doesn't have pants on. Yes, he's wearing underwear. We decided to go cold turkey on the whole potty training with Tyler. He's been poopin' in the potty for a few months, but we told him that diapers were only for nighttime a few days ago, and he's done great. I'm looking forward to going to Target tomorrow and NOT walking out with big purple boxes that say Luvs on them.

Pictures...

So here are a few pictures from the last week or so. ...

You're never too young for a mohawk..... :)

The best part about all the snow is the huge pile the snow plow pushes in front of our house. We're on a cul-de-sac, and our house gets the biggest pile every winter. Bragging rights for Noah and Tyler in a few years, I'm sure. Scott and Noah dug this double tunnel with a skylight.

Noah could (and often does) stay outside for insane amounts of time. Hours. Seriously.

Hard to believe all three kids in this picture belong to us! I remember buying the crib when Noah was on the way, picking out the bedding (which all 3 have used), and painting the crib/changing table. Now there's two little boys peeking in at their sister in the mornings.... I love watching the three of them interact.

Three generations! Rachel is 7 months old. My middle name is Rachel, as is my mom's. I'm thankful to have a daughter for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggest is the hope of a friendship with her someday as I have with my mom.