Questions for a date night

So I'm a clean freak, and I love to organize, too. There is probably a little too much joy to be found when I can open a cabinet and find something to go through. I found a stack of magazine articles that I've had for awhile, and decided that since it had been a few years since reading them, I'd go through them, throw away some, and actually put some to use. Recipes, child raising tips, etc. I had pulled one from a marriage magazine that was written by Gary and Barb Rosberg. Great speakers/authors - we went to a marriage conference early on that they were at. Anyway, they give a series of progressively challenging questions to ask your spouse. So, I thought I'd pass a few on.

Level One
Tell me about the best vacation you have ever had.
When do you feel most glad that you married me?
What's the best compliment I could give you?
What one question do you want God to answer?
What really gets on your nerves?

Level Two
Do you feel that I spend enough of my free time with you? What things cut into our time together?
What do you enjoy most about your life? What would you like to change?
Describe two of your favorite memories of things we've done together.
Do you think you spend most of your time doing what you're well suited to do? If not, what needs to change? What would you most enjoy doing on a daily basis?
What helps you grow closer to Christ? What interferes with that process?
How well did your parents communicate?
Do I say "I love you" enough?

Level Three
Describe some dream accomplishments for yourself at ages 40, 60, 80.
Do you eer feel that I'm critical of you? How can I avoid that?
What one thing that I do for you makes you feel truly loved?
What are you learning in your times alone with God?
What do you think it means to be "called" by God to do something? Have you ever felt that calling?
At what times do you feel overwhelmed? What can I do to help?
Do I ever give you the silent treatment?
When we have an argument, does it seem as though I'm really listening to what you say? Or am I more interested in what I have to say?
Do you ever sense that I put conditions on my love for you? If so, what are the conditions you feel I place on you?

Level Four
Describe three ways we can enjoy each other more.
In what ways do you look forward to growing old together?
How can I be a better friend to you?
When you try something and fail,how should I respond?
What give you the motivation to get up in the morning?
In what areas of your life do you feel most insecure? What can I do to encourage you?
What can I do to help you bring out your natural talents and abilities?
Are you satisfied with the time we spend together reading the Bible and praying? What can we do together to meet each other's needs in this area?
Do you ever have doubts about God's character? About the Bible? How do those doubts affect you?
How are we doing in terms of resolving our conflicts? What can we do better?
What do you think "marital intimacy" means?
In what three ways can I be a better listener?
When are times when you especially need my love?
Is there any emotional baggage we've brought into this marriage that needs to be unpacked? Would that require professional help, or can we handle it ourselves? In what ways can I help in this process?

Level Five
What do you think prevents couples from becoming (or staying) best friends?
Do you trust me? If not, why not? What can I do to help you trust me more?
How can we affair-proof our marriage?
Is there anything about life in general or our current circumstances that discourages or disappoints you? What can I do to help turn that around?
What are some ways I can help you reach your full potential?
In what ways am I encouraging you in your spiritual walk with God? What else could I do?
How can we improve our prayer life together? Individually?
Do you think we're honoring God in the way we spend, give, and save our money? How could we do better?
What things can we do to help our children grow in their faith?
Do you ever feel I'm more "at one" with my job, the kids, or a hobby than I am with you? What makes you feel this way? How can I be more "at one" with you?
Have I ever broken your heart? If so, when? How could I have handled that situation differently? What can I do to heal that situation?

All the questions were from their book "40 Unforgettable Dates with Your Mate"

If you don't have a few hours to spend w/your hubby to work through all those questions, we have three questions that were given to us from another great couple and amazing example of marriage - Paul and Virginia Friesen. Each year, they go through these questions as a "check up" with each other. Scott and I spent a weekend before Rachel was born at a bed and breakfast, and answered them over dinner. It was a real, refreshing, honest conversation..... here's the questions...

1. Looking back over the past year, what have been our strengths? What do we feel has contributed positive growth to our marriage?

2. What areas have been neglected? Do we feel we're in a better place relationally now than we were a year ago? Not as good? Why or why not?

3. Looking ahead, what goals do we want to set which will increase the vitality and oneness of our marriage?

I'm the Mom,.......

........so I'm always right. Or, in this case, a little bit right. Noah is going to preschool for one more year - we decided to wait until he turns 6 next summer to start kindergarten. His class this year is probably 70/30 girls/boys, the teachers are more structured than last year, he goes three days in a row as opposed to two, and he doesn't have a buddy that he beelines for yet. So, all that to say, he's not a huge fan of preschool. Doesn't mind it, but isn't whoo-hoo excited about going every day. We've talked a few times about getting used to new things, introducing himself to a new person every day, etc, etc. Standard Mom advice.

After I picked him up today, he and I were playing on the floor and he started talking about his friend "Andrew" that he has started playing with. He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "I guess you were a little bit right about preschool. I kind of like it now."

What a glowing endorsement. I'm hoping that it only gets better as the years go on. It has to, right? He WILL think I'm amazing and wonderful when he's a teenager........

Noah's thoughts/thoughtfulness

Our sweet 5 year old.

We did some singing before bed tonight, starting with a few that he knew from Sunday school, and ending with Jesus Loves Me. As we sang, "Jesus loves me, this I know" he interjected with a contended sigh, "This is the best song ever."

As I scratched his back (a nightly ritual since he's been about 3 years old- sorry to whoever his future wife is :)), I got up to leave, and he asked for the first time in 2 years, "Do you want me to scratch YOUR back, Mom?"

Summer pictures

Here's some recent pictures of the kids this summer......

I do

Nope, Scott and I aren't renewing our vows. "I do" is the punch line to this next story...

We were at our friends' house for dinner tonight, and dessert was the always popular (and cheap and easy to make) crowd pleaser - brownies.

The kids are not physically able to have just one brownie, of course. That would go against everything about childhood. Two of them (Noah and a friends' kid) made their way into the kitchen to ask for another one, and walked back outside.

Then came Tyler. He came in, held out his napkin, and said, "I do." I think in his head, he knew that we would probably ask him, "Would you like another brownie?" So, rather than beat around the bush, he decided to answer the question before we had a chance to ask it.

It was so cute, and if I'm really a superstar mom, it might make his baby book.

Happy Birthday to 2 out of 3!!!

Rachel turned one on the 25th. Noah turned 5 on the 30th. Let's just say there's going to be lots of double birthday party/cake eating sessions in the years to come. :) Rachel loved her cake (surprise) and Noah has been the baseball boy this summer, hence his cake.

Our visit to the Playboy Mansion

Okay, now that your attention has been lassoed.... :) We went to Lake Geneva last weekend for the summer regional conference that Scott's employer, Edward Jones, has every year. It's at a different place every summer (we're pulling for a return to a great waterpark that we went to two years ago), and this summer it was at the Grand Geneva hotel, which, used to be the old Playboy mansion. Lovely. Thankfully, I was able to put that thought out of my mind to minimize the creepiness I felt just being there.

We had a fun couple days with the kids, and then my parents came to get them so Scott and I could have the day/evening to ourselves. My mom and dad even kept the kids overnight! We got dressed up for the banquet/awards dinner on Saturday night, and I had someone take what's probably the first picture of just Scott and I in a few years. :) The kids loved the pool - even Tyler, who ended up in the floatie-thing I bought for Rachel. She was happy just pushing the chairs and side tables around the deck. We also took a dinner cruise... here's the pics.

Tyler's language

So, today we got out the pool. Tyler said, "Wet's get our babin' suits on, Mom!" A bug flew near to him and he said, "Dere's too many biskeetos out here."

Who's your favorite?

So Scott and I commit the cardinal sin of parenting once in awhile.... we ask the kids who their favorite is. Yep, that's right, we try to get them on our respective sides. :) It's always in fun, and we usually tickle them to death if they pick the opposite parent.

As we were putting them to bed the other night, Noah chose Scott, and Tyler (2 1/2)was a die-hard Mommy's boy. He looked me straight in the eyes and said,

"You're my best, Mommy."

We're still alive!!!

Thanks, Bekah, for the reminder that my blog has been neglected for about 2 years now. :) Somehow, even though our kids aren't involved in sports, Awana, kids clubs, or even school, we're busy. What will life be like in 5 years?????

Last weekend, we had Noah's birthday party. He has never had a party with friends before, so we decided that this was the year to do it. We thought, hey, wouldn't it be fun to invite his whole preschool class? So, after passing out 35+ invitations, we realized that we were in for it. :) We had 22 kids come - we borrowed some bounce houses from some generous friends and neighbors, another neighbor brought over bean bag games and ring tosses, etc, and we had ourselves a mini carnival in the backyard. Thankfully, the weather was nice - no rain, sleet, or snow. The kids had a great time, and Noah enjoyed being the center of attention for the morning.

I promise it won't be 2 more years until I blog again...

Our sweet boy - is it possible he's really almost 5 years old???

Scott playing Duck, Duck, Goose with the kids. He was amazing as the game master. Seriously, after 8 years of marriage, I thought I knew all the reasons why I loved him. He was so good with the kids - doing all kinds of crazy games, running around the house with them.... There were two moms that stayed with their kids at the party. As they were watching Scott, one of them asked me, "Is he for hire for other birthday parties?" I was very proud. :)

Opening presents. It was hilarious to watch them all clamor for Noah to open theirs first. He took it all in stride, though, and didn't get overwhelmed! Fortunately, a few presents were "Target take-back worthy." For any of you that know me, you know that I have no qualms about returning gifts.....

Ready for cake and ice cream. A memorable moment of the morning was when at least 5 kids came up to me and said, "I don't like this ice cream." I had to hold myself back from saying, "well, more for me then!" :)

Red light, green light.

The only downfall to an outside party - a windy day that didn't give the candles a fighting chance.

So after the party, Noah says in his sweetest voice, "Mom, since it's a special day, can I skip a nap?" We said sure, but you have to have a rest on the couch. Not even 2 minutes later, we found him like this.

Our little/big man. We love him so much.